I’m being my most imperfect self

About five years ago I used to love my butt, I thought it was my best feature. And then Instagram entered my life and now all I see is butts. Butts, butts and butts – everywhere!
And after that I started to reconsider my butt.

A couple of weeks ago I was in class and we started talking about cellulites. And you know how when you’re sitting down you get dimples in your thighs, and you always check if they are still there whenever you are sitting?
No?
Me neither….
Anyway, I told the girls that they are just dimples – from your vagina being so happy.
Which means my vagina must be really happy. How about yours?

Isn’t it funny how we keep comparing ourselves to others? And there’s always that one special thing. Like mine – butts, obviously – I always look at butts, I’m sorry, but I do. And I’m not afraid of telling people when they’ve got a strong butt game – however, they often don’t seem so comfortable with hearing it. Probably because they have their own mindset about what their body looks like.

I am a big advocate for Health at Every Size and the non-diet approach. Because I don’t believe in diets. They set you up to fail and when you do you feel even more shittier about yourself than you did from the start. And why put your body through that stress? Mentally and physically? Cause let’s face it, the weight you lose you regain within 3-5 years and sometimes another few extra kilos, if you don’t know how to maintain your body properly after that weight loss.
No thank you, I say look at your life from a bigger picture – how are you not contributing to your life in a healthy way? Maybe you should reconsider your options when it comes to snacks? Eat more veggies? Do that morning walk every day? Meditate? Go to the gym a couple of times a week? Don’t beat yourself up mentally when you eat one tiny cookie? It is not only about your looks.
Don’t get me wrong – being overweight or obese contributes to several health problems around the world such as cancer. And doing a drastic lifestyle change to try and lose weight is a struggle for most people. But no matter what you look like you should not put yourself down for it. So put your focus somewhere else – by starting to cut back on unhealthy habits and replacing them with healthier ones, and by giving yourself time, you will notice a difference.

I have my own struggles, trust me.
Earlier this week we did a body composition analysis in my sports nutrition class. And my body fat was above normal – and my reaction wasn’t the best, and of course I was beating myself up mentally for liking ice cream too much (and most of you are just laughing now cause I’m a tiny person, but EVERYONE has their struggles).
I came home later that day and my roommate enlightened my very dark mind: ”If you would lose that 1.5% body fat would you feel any different? Why would you look at some numbers instead of actually listen to your body and how it is doing?”
Right then I realized, it’s got nothing to do with the fact that I’ve gained fat mass but more about that I’ve lost muscle mass since the accident (understandably). And I go to the gym to get strong, not to lose weight or look any different.
But if growing a butt is gonna make me look even better then I’d happily accept it.
My point is – my body fat levels do not tell me anything of what my body is capable of – like doing an almost perfect squat without any pain in my lower back. That is winning to me.
Your body is supposed to carry you for several more years to come, so don’t hate on it!

You know what I do pretty much every morning? I dance. In front of the mirror. Naked. And this is what I like to call my sexy dance-time. Listening to whatever J.LO song is available and pretending like I can twerk. In slow-motion of course, cause I can’t hump that fast to be honest. Try it, I promise it’ll make you happy.
So right now I’m telling myself to love my body, with dimples, saggy bum-cheeks and everything.
Feel free to love your body, no matter what it looks like.
And be naked when you have the opportunity!
In that way other people can appreciate your gorgeous body.

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Your body is capable of amazing things

Since I was 12 years old I’ve hated my body. Much like every other person.
I’m too fat – my love handles are too big, my hair is too fragile, my legs are too short. The only thing I’ve liked is my boobs. Well, at least since the age of 18.

I remember in sixth grade when my mum and I had a meeting with my teacher and I said that I was feeling left out by the other girls and she asked me why. My answer was “I am too fat”. WTF?!
I don’t even know if I believed it or not, but back then – I knew that if I was fat, there was a reason for me to be left out. Because I didn’t look like everyone else. And that was easier to face than the fact that I was weird. (Which I’m totally okay with now by the way). But where did I get this from? First of all, that I was overweight? And second of all, that there was something wrong with being overweight? Like that was an okay reason for being left out?

I study nutrition, and even if I’ve been taught the information to why the body needs the food we eat – all this information blows out the window that one second my brain starts to go on and on about how “I am too fat.”
But now I say I’ve had enough!
My body is a freaking powerful machine. I got hit by a car in 40km/h and here I am! I’m like freaking wonder woman or something. I’m not saying that I’m immortal. But why do I put all my energy into feeding my body with negative thoughts about how it looks instead of loving it?
My body is awesome.
It’s been there for me through my 27 years here on earth. It walks, swims, breathes, smiles, cries, and beats, “plays the guitar” (at least that’s my intention), lifts, kicks, dance.
When did I start let my looks define who I am?

From now on I’m treating You with love, kindness, respect and gratitude. Everything that You deserve. Everything that I deserve.
I am a soul, I have a body. But the body is one of our biggest supporters through life. So I will support You.


Photo: Isabelle Thelning 

I’m loving the energy this day is giving me

This day started off really bad and I was just irritated about everything – the effects of yet another night of bad sleep. And you know that feeling when you’re trying to think happy thoughts but it’s just now working – you just want to crawl back to bed. I literally had to tell myself before I walked out of the door to start my day; ”I can do this.” And boy, I did.
Went to a yoga class at The Spit here in Mooloolaba with some lovely people, and it was exactly what I needed to calm my mind. So Saturdays at 8 am, let me know if you guys are keen to come with me next time!
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Later on Alle and myself ended up at the beach, where I was trying to remind myself to be grateful for this amazing place I live in. It is so freaking beautiful here and I wish all of you could be here with me. We talked old memories and just laughed about how cray cray we are sometimes!
The absolute best thing about this day was my lunch, me and some friends of mine had a three hour long lunch with stimulating conversations about everything and nothing. It is so uplifting to know that I have people like these that I can share my thoughts and emotions with, they are so loving and they give me so much energy. For that I am grateful!

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Acroyoga 2.0

And the end of last year I started doing yoga at this amazing yoga studio here in Mooloolaba, called Yoga Vida. I love the energy there and the teachers are really good.
When I lived in Sweden I had a really hard time getting into yoga, which I never did, cause I always got so irritated or annoyed, it was like something was crawling under my skin and I couldn’t relax. And now I’ve learnt that that feeling was probably a sign – I needed yoga the most at that time.
Then I moved here and I thought I’d might give it ago again. And now I’m hooked.
People may think that yoga is not a as hard of a workout compared to going to the gym. But I disagree,  yoga gives you so much, I’ve discovered a couple of things about myself since I started with yoga.
I’m the worst at being in the moment, I’ve now started to notice that I sometimes just zone out when people talk to me. I just don’t listen, and then I have to ask them to repeat it to me, which is very disrespectful.
I’m not using my breathing to the best of my capacity, and I believe that deep breathing helps the body to heal. That is why one of my new years resolutions were to focus more on my breathing – so next weekend I’m going to a breathing workshop at the yoga studio and I’m so excited!

It’s funny, when I went to high school I knew this girl, we were actually not friends, we just used to hang with the same people.
And when I moved here, to Australia, she shot me a message on Facebook saying she lives here as well, like an hour from me. And this lovely person, Frida, is a yoga student and she is an amazing yogi and also really good at Acroyoga. So at the end of last week she came and visited me and along with her and her two friends Fiia and Henniina I tried on some  Acroyoga for like my third time. These girls are absolutely amazing at this and I’m just a newbie, but it was so much fun! I just need to practice more, cause it’s really hard!
I only know this pose but I have to say that I’m nailing it.

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If I were you I would check out their blogs;

http://nouw.com/Fridasethman

http://www.rantapallo.fi/fiiaemilia/

I think I’ll try defying gravity

Last weekend I went camping and climbing with a bunch of amazing ladies from USC.
– To be in the nature
– To be without my phone
– To hang with people I didn’t know
That was exactly what I needed to recharge my batteries and to breath for awhile!

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The thing is that I have never been climbing before and all the others were so freaking awesome and climbed up that wall like they were freaking spider-man. I was super impressed of how they pushed themselves and showed no fear at all. So I thought; it can’t be that hard?
Hmm, the jokes on me.
I have never seen myself as someone that is scared of heights, but apparently I am! It was one of the things I was beginning to over come that weekend, but it also felt like something more. Like I needed to overcome the fear of something else.
When I finally climbed up that wall of 40 meter I cried, maybe because I was so scared that I thought my heart was gonna stop – but also because I did it. I climbed that freaking wall. Maybe not like spider-man, but as a tiny spider. And I can’t be more proud of myself.
What ever you do, do not ever quit. You can make it!

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