Show that little devil some attitude

I was going to the beach the other day, I put on my bikini as usual and I’m standing there in front of the mirror in my bathroom and I’m like: ”WTF?! I can’t walk around like this on the beach. What’s that? Where did my two-pack go? Why do I have hair there, WHO has hair there? Why does everyone else come off so perfect but here is a blubb of fat with hair where hair obviously shouldn’t exist (Which I’ve seen on Instagram, thank you very much).”
Yes, very evidence based of me.

This was what was going on in my mind on Saturday morning before heading to the beach to chill with my friends, why am I ruining my day?

I know I’m always talking about body acceptance, and Health at Every size. Which I do believe, but I also believe that you can’t hide from those horrible thoughts that pops up in your head sometimes. Which I have, not as frequently as before – but that day they were horrible. It’s like a devil is sitting on my shoulder and shitting out every negative though I’ve ever had about my body.
Just because I put on a bikini. And accidentally was standing in front of the mirror.

So the old Pernilla came into my head and started thinking ”maybe you should just stop eating so much, do some squats”. And you know what the new, improved Penny did? She took her towel and went down to the god damn beach. Because I’m sure as hell not gonna let that little devil of mine decide if I’m ”worthy” enough of showing myself in a bikini, AT THE BEACH. And and I sure as hell won’t stop eating – because food is life.

So there might be some of you thinking: Then if you don’t like your body that much why don’t you do something about it?
But this is how I see it: If I would go to the gym for That reason, am I feeding a healthy behavior? No, I’m feeding a bad one.

You know what I always used to say when someone was complaining about their love handles?
”That means there’s just more of you to love”. Which is amazing.

Take it from me – if I can knock that little devil down, so can you (even if it’s maybe just for a second).

 

Your body is capable of amazing things

Since I was 12 years old I’ve hated my body. Much like every other person.
I’m too fat – my love handles are too big, my hair is too fragile, my legs are too short. The only thing I’ve liked is my boobs. Well, at least since the age of 18.

I remember in sixth grade when my mum and I had a meeting with my teacher and I said that I was feeling left out by the other girls and she asked me why. My answer was “I am too fat”. WTF?!
I don’t even know if I believed it or not, but back then – I knew that if I was fat, there was a reason for me to be left out. Because I didn’t look like everyone else. And that was easier to face than the fact that I was weird. (Which I’m totally okay with now by the way). But where did I get this from? First of all, that I was overweight? And second of all, that there was something wrong with being overweight? Like that was an okay reason for being left out?

I study nutrition, and even if I’ve been taught the information to why the body needs the food we eat – all this information blows out the window that one second my brain starts to go on and on about how “I am too fat.”
But now I say I’ve had enough!
My body is a freaking powerful machine. I got hit by a car in 40km/h and here I am! I’m like freaking wonder woman or something. I’m not saying that I’m immortal. But why do I put all my energy into feeding my body with negative thoughts about how it looks instead of loving it?
My body is awesome.
It’s been there for me through my 27 years here on earth. It walks, swims, breathes, smiles, cries, and beats, “plays the guitar” (at least that’s my intention), lifts, kicks, dance.
When did I start let my looks define who I am?

From now on I’m treating You with love, kindness, respect and gratitude. Everything that You deserve. Everything that I deserve.
I am a soul, I have a body. But the body is one of our biggest supporters through life. So I will support You.


Photo: Isabelle Thelning